Shadowy Pretend Figure: Hey Goob, what did you do yesterday?
Goob: Oh, not much, just spent a few hours working and then researching how to get a species of tapeworm named after me.
Shadowy Pretend Figure: Oh, cool, what freebies did you find … wait, what?
Goob: What freebies did I find? Um, I found a Yoplait yogurt coupon and-
Shadowy Pretend Figure: -No, no, the other part. You want to get a species of tapeworm named after you?
Goob: Oh, yeah! Apparently there are tens of thousands of tapeworm species still to be named! They’re already named 6,000 of them, so I figure all the leading parasite and tapeworm scientists already have a few species named after them. How cool would it be to have one of the remained species named after me?
Shadowy Pretend Figure: Aaaaand, that’s my cue to leave.