I’ve been going through a bunch of older comedy from the 80s and 90s that I missed. I don’t know what the hell I did as a child. I had friends who adored Monty Pyton or SNL, others who traded burnt CDs of underground comedy like they were blocks of herion, and then there was me playing with Legos and on Super Nintendo. Oops.

Oh well. I tried my best to make up for it in college, where I finally discovered Mitch Hedberg. And that, my friends, is how you bluntly segue into the following quote I just found on his new website in honor of his memory.

Once, while being driven from the Atlanta airport to the hotel, our cab driver started talking shit. He was creeping towards a racist rant. We were still a ways away from the hotel when it dawned on us that he felt super okay with being a hateful weirdo.

Mitch leans forward, “Hey Man. Up here on the right is a deli that sells Boar’s Head Ham. Can you stop so we can grab something to eat?”

“Sure”

Mitch returned with THREE subs. No one spoke for the rest of the trip.

Lesson learned. It’s impossible to spew racist crap while eating a delicious sandwich.

Seriously, kids, don’t do drugs. Cause then I’ll start to like you, but you’ll die before I get a chance to meet you and, yes, it’s all about me in the longrun.