Goob Is Goofy

Hey Disney, don't sue me.

Category: Funny

So This Is A Thing

Cookie Car

Credit to rawlings27 from Reddit.

While back in my hometown last month, I encountered what might have been the coolest car I’d ever seen. It was similar to the one pictured above except it was dedicated to the far superior Skittles. I scrambled for my phone, but the light quickly changed and it drove away as I stared wide eyed, mouth agape, and utterly perplexed. I euphorically spun around to see if any of my fellow passengers caught sight of the same magnificent beast only to be greeted with six eyes looking at me as if I’d lost my mind.

Goob: Wha…guys…did you not see that car?!
Martha: Yeah, what about it?
Goob: …
Tommy: They’re all over the place. I think one guy in our neighborhood has a Mr. Goodbar one.
Goob: … …
Tommy: ?
Goob: !!!

Thank goodness I’m not the only person tickled by this phenomenon. I love it. How have I never heard of nor seen this before?!

Every day I’m reminded of how much I know nothing about.

Don’t Draw Something

Bad DrawSomething Image

So I kind of suck at drawing. I half expect the game to ban me.

I Still Haven’t Won A Lunch

I’ve been going through a bunch of older comedy from the 80s and 90s that I missed. I don’t know what the hell I did as a child. I had friends who adored Monty Pyton or SNL, others who traded burnt CDs of underground comedy like they were blocks of herion, and then there was me playing with Legos and on Super Nintendo. Oops.

Oh well. I tried my best to make up for it in college, where I finally discovered Mitch Hedberg. And that, my friends, is how you bluntly segue into the following quote I just found on his new website in honor of his memory.

Once, while being driven from the Atlanta airport to the hotel, our cab driver started talking shit. He was creeping towards a racist rant. We were still a ways away from the hotel when it dawned on us that he felt super okay with being a hateful weirdo.

Mitch leans forward, “Hey Man. Up here on the right is a deli that sells Boar’s Head Ham. Can you stop so we can grab something to eat?”

“Sure”

Mitch returned with THREE subs. No one spoke for the rest of the trip.

Lesson learned. It’s impossible to spew racist crap while eating a delicious sandwich.

Seriously, kids, don’t do drugs. Cause then I’ll start to like you, but you’ll die before I get a chance to meet you and, yes, it’s all about me in the longrun.

Drunk Ron Swanson

I can’t stop watching this.

The Comic Stylings of Brian Williams

Anyone who watches The Daily Show knows how funny NBC newsman Brian Williams is.

Told of Meyers’s appreciation for his “comic instrument,” Williams replies, “That’s odd. We’ve never belonged to a health club together.”

Well played.

Whoa, Watch Out Says That Bird!

I feel like I need to post this video here just to make sure I never lose track of it. I found it a few weeks ago and easily account for a few hundred thousand of it’s 677,000 views. In it, a comedian redubs a NatGeo video in a gay voice and thus makes my entire year.

Pretty NSFW if your employer frowns upon foul language or animals eating each other. I guarantee you’ll have this guy’s voice in your head narrating your daily activities for a few days as well.

No Title, Spooler Error

As inspired by a recent The Oatmeal tweet, please do the following as long as you don’t mind nsfw language:

  1. Read this short comic about why printers suck.
  2. Watch this video.

So deliciously funny.

At Least The Rice Was Tasty

I’m still trying to decide if the fortune cookie I got yesterday was the best or worst I’ve ever received.

Side 1: “They fail, and they alone, who have not striven.”

Side 2: Learn Chinese – Gooseberry. Lucky Numbers – 2.

You don’t want to know what my brother and I first imagined a Gooseberry to be.

People Forget About The Original Anyway

Don’t ever let “it’s been done before” stop you. Case in point? Don’t Even Reply. Within minutes of discovering the site, I had tears rolling down my face. Check out the top rated; my favorites are the Shaniqua Chronicles, Vintage Liquor, and Disguised Weapons.

This all reminds me of the fun I had with an old site of mine, Facebook Talk. I wish I had saved more of the emails before I sold the site as there were some gems. At least archive.org has a snapshot of the ones I posted, with this exchange being one of my favorites. Although, honestly, you can’t really beat the “VROOM VROOM VROOOOM!” one.

I think what I’m getting at here is that I miss making fun of people.

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