Hey Disney, don't sue me.

Hey Cancer. Eat It.

I asked my Oncologist if “the R word” applied to me yet. He thought I was asking if I was retarded.

My brain has always worked faster than my mouth. In a debate, I always end up shooting myself in the foot by stumbling over my tongue. That’s why I enjoy writing. To hell with making your point on the first try, in real time no less! My typical method for an article is to pound it out all at once, edit, re-edit, wait a few hours, edit some more, wait a few days, edit some more, and finally force myself to publish the damn thing before I end up rewriting every word.

I took the exact opposite approach with this post.

I didn’t want to type anything before I knew for certain because I’m superstitious inasmuch as I can jinx myself. It happens every time. I’m winning in a game? Trash talk seals my opponents crazy comeback. I mention it’s nice the plane is taking off on time? We stop halfway down the runway due to a broken flimflark. So the thought of writing this post ahead of time felt like an unnecessary tempting of fate I couldn’t afford.

Luckily yesterday my doctor said I’m officially in remission. He went on to say I’m not cured, obviously, and it could come back at any moment but I had kind of tuned him out by that point. My tumors were gone! All that self-groping hadn’t been in vain!

I plan on telling this individually to all my friends and family members, but until then, I just wanted to proclaim a public “rock the fuck on” to them. The support of Hiffers was fantastic, but I don’t want to ever make it sound like I was in this alone. Those around me stepped up their game and were simply awesome throughout this whole ordeal. I couldn’t have done it without them and I hope they know how much I appreciated their support.

Now, onto the next challenge life throws my way. Hopefully this one doesn’t involve boatloads of poison.


Luckily There Are Some Cute Nurses


I’ve Been Inked For Years


  1. Roses

    Rockin’ on in your honor, sir!

  2. Amber

    So happy to read this post.

  3. Goob

    Thanks you two! 

  4. guitarswinger

    This IS a great Thanksgiving day!!

  5. KristineAz

    Those are some magnificent eyebrows!! Amazing news! So glad you’re in remission. Have a wonderful holiday season and thank you for all you do for us internet strangers. *huggles* 🙂

  6. crazycow

    You. Are. Awesome. Glad to hear the R word didn’t have anything to do with retardation; I would’ve fought that diagnosis! Keep up the phenomenal work and keep being as awesome as I’ve come to except. 😀

  7. spiritdancer22

    Great news! One more thing for us all to thankful for this Thanksgiving.

  8. Cheryl

    FANTASTIC!! I’ll pray for your continued strength! (and hair growth!) And thanks for sharing the news of your illness and remission because it really does help to shake people up and get them to stop taking the gift of life for granted.

  9. PatriciaCarbone

    One more thing to be thankful for 😀

  10. JonnieFoulkes

    Wonderful news…Stay healthy and congratulations on beating the big one

  11. BrandiHansmeyer

    That’s great! I hope you’ve enjoyed your Thanksgiving as well, especially now with this good news to celebrate! -Brandi from MN

  12. norms

    i’m glad ur feeling better..may god bless u always….we look forward to ur jokes everyday and of course u calling us hiffers…so live life to the fullest….

  13. Julie

    FANTASTIC NEWS!! I about cried at your post “about that cancer”, then actually laughed out loud at this one…(R word)… Glad you are healthy!

  14. SarahJames

    Excellent news. Long may R continue

  15. Chrissy

    Keep that Goob-y humor up, that’s what we love you best for. Well, the boatloads of freebies help too, haha 🙂 Knew you would kick that cancer, enjoy your victory!

  16. Marla

    See prayer does work. I’ve been praying for you everyday. I won’t ever stop. God Bless you!

  17. magyarjoy

    We love you, Goob!

  18. lvlindah

    That is AWESOME news, Goob!!! What perfect timing for all of us to express our gratitude!

  19. Brenda

    Bless you! I’m so glad for you! My husband is fighting Lymphoma, and his seems to be resistant to the several different types of chemo they’ve put him through in the last year. I am always so thankful to hear that someone has made it through and come out on the other side of this disease. I hope your remission is long-lasting.

  20. susiespeech

    Congrats on your remission status and prayers & positive energy to you!

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