Hey Disney, don't sue me.

Luckily There Are Some Cute Nurses

So I’ve got cancer.

Well, I’ve actually had cancer for nine months now. Ten months? I don’t know. Math was never my strong suit. You’d think I’d better remember when I first had surgery, but it’s baseball season. I’ve got more important things to keep track of.

Things didn’t get too serious until last month when, during a routine visit, my doctor said “so yeah, get ready for chemo. Your cancer is a little bitch.” I’m paraphrasing.

Thus began lots of chemotherapy. I’m four weeks in and luckily it’s one of those good cancers. Stage II Testicular Cancer is fairly curable, plus I get the bonus perk of talking about my junk with complete strangers. But I felt like I needed to say something, otherwise the jokes that are soon to follow on Twitter and Facebook might seem a little out of left field.

In the mean time, if you want to help out, say a few extra stupid jokes today in my name. Trust me, I can sense them.


I Need A Map To Find My Map


Hey Cancer. Eat It.


  1. i dont know you, but you make me smile with your HIF posts and your upbeat humor even when shits ready to hit the fan. Thoughts of hope coming your way from N MN, i’d say pray, but who do i pray to other than the toilet god…

    • Chrissy

      Coincidentally, I’m sending my own stupid jokes from *South* MN!  

  2. Darlene

    Goob, Thanks for sharing. I think things are gonna’ work out fine. 🙂

  3. laidback racing

    OK her is the  joke to make you laugh…It is something my husband says when he gets annoyed
    “balls sad the queen if I had them I’d be king”

    • laidback racing

      WHOOPS…make that:”balls SAID the queen if I had them I’d be king”

  4. city dude

    I am praying for you to be totally healed Goob!  You are great at your blogs!

  5. Carrie

    I also do not know you, but I really enjoy your daily emails and your witty comments.  My thoughts are with you during your treatment.  Your great sense of humor and upbeat way will keep you going on those tough days.  The thank you to all of us is great, but I want to thank you for this great site! 🙂  Take care.

  6. Lturk3857

    Goob, I give you a shout out every time I open the mail and get my free stuff. In fact my husband  yelled out to our neighbors, free stuff from Goob. And it’s not drugs!!”

    Hope you feel better soon and keep on doing the noble job you are doing of making sure the world gets those freebies we are too lazy to look for ourselves.

    My prayer go out to you.

  7. Twirleygirl

    I was stunned in April when I was told I had breast cancer. Mastectomy in May. The MLB and Goob helping me get through. Will keep you in my thoughts.

  8. Janrhull27

    I love your site!!  I love your humor!!  The best to you.  You will kick this and be back to normal really soon.  Wishing you the best.

  9. Leann

    Hey there Goob, I love your website and I read all of your posts even when I’ve seen the freebie offer posted somewhere else already, because it always makes me laugh!  I’m glad to know that just by supporting your website I’ve been able to help in some small way.  You will be in my prayers/positive thoughts/good karma or whatever you believe in.

    • Rina

      Leann, you took the words out of my mouth! I was going to say exactly the same thing!!I love your posts  Goob, I love your freebies and your humor…I try to read you every day, and when I don’t have time, I would read them even if they are expired….you put a smile in my face all the times……Now I would share something personal: I was diagnosed  with breast cancer 9 months ago, and I had surgery, chemo and radiations….I know what you mean when you say that you feel tired, I felt the same way for soo long…..I feel better now especially after last mammogram 3 days ago with good result….Stay strong and you’ll be fine! keep us updated….you have all our support!!
      BTW did you know that through my oncologist I was able to receive some freebies, like a wig from the American Cancer Society, a bag full of  cosmetics, massages ad a silk scarf from France Luxe!!!My best wishes to you.

  10. Andy

    THANK YOU for your amazing time, dedication and website!!!  I am sure I speak for  all HIF’ers when I say…G-d Bless and speedy recovery! We are all thinking of you!!!

  11. Hapiasiangrl

    I will be praying for you Goob for a fast recovery! my aunt has cancer too and i know how tiring chemo makes you! i wish you the best of luck and i will continue to keep following your blog. it has brought me so many freebies over the past year.

  12. Bchgalvb

    You rock. Your humor has brightened many of my days, and I look each day to check out the freebies. Hope you”re better soon. Hugs from a Mom in Virginia.

  13. Joan Gilland

    that news did not make my day,but if you can keep up that great personality we have come to love,we can keep up too,and keep up with you. All the best to you and yours from Joan in Inverness.Fl. and with that comes prayers for a speedy  FULL recovery

  14. Natalie

    Goob, so sorry to hear your bad news. Hang in there things will get better. My mom had breast cancer and she is a survivor . She beat the odds (knock on wood). Many prayers go out to ya. You will beat the odds too. We love receiving your emails. We love freebies in this hell hole of an economy.  Stay strong and you will recover. Thank you for sharing and god bless.

  15. Sarah Harmon

    Goob, I’ve been a Hiffer for a long time now, and your corny jokes still make me laugh. I just wanted you to know, we love ya, and we’re here for you~

    I still want to see your Doctor cosplay. You know the one. 😉

  16. Goob,
    I don’t know you directly but certainly feel like I do from all of the posts on HIF. I am a HIFfer from way back – THANK YOU!
    You seem to be a great guy with a tremendous sense of humor – which will certainly be helpful during this trying time. Best of luck to you and your family! Prayers, good karma, good vibes, well wishes, sincere good thoughts and confetti are being sent your way (psychically anyway).
    Seriously, take care of yourself.

  17. Tammy Kicak

    I love your site. Thanx for all you do, & hope you feel better soon!! *hugs*

  18. Ruthysings

    I”m so glad HIF is going well for you especially now with this to deal with. I pray that you heal quickly and completely and HIF continues to do well. You are a fantastic person and congrats on developing your idea into something that makes a living for you. I’m very sorry you are dealing with all this.

  19. Good lord, Goob, if I were twenty years younger, you’d be the man for me.  “Talk about my junk”– even with cancer, you still got it.   😀

  20. Dreamtoken

    You will be in our prayers, God bless you, you do a great  job and shouldn’t worry about any of this, just get yourself well ASAP. we will all understand!

  21. Minkinace

    I have been addicted to your site since i first stumbled upon it one night searching for free samples. I absolutely love it. I love it so much that when people ask me how i score so much free stuff, i just reply, “I have a site I go to where this cool guy gives you codes, links, etc to find things.”  The truth is, I don’t tell them about the site because I like to sign them up and then they still receive the free things and in my opinion, that’s better because they get mail and let’s face it, everyone likes getting mail esp free stuff and i do all the work for them.
    Truth be told, I thought I uncovered a little precious gold mine when i discovered your site. I have scored so much free stuff for myself and my friends and when i saw that you were on facebook, at first, I was a little upset because by the time i tried to register for some stuff, it would be gone but now, you know what? who cares? the more the merrier, unless i miss out. j. kidding. i have enjoyed your little snippets after each sample and i look forward to logging in everyday to find out what i can get. I love it and i love your sense of humor. you have brought a little bit of sunshine to a not always so eventful life.
    You rock and I send out tons of good vibes to you and again, thank you thank you thank you.

    here’s a joke, (it’s not mine, tho)
    A doctor walks into the bank to endorse a check. he grabs his shirt pocket for his pen and it’s not there. instead, he finds a rectal thermometer.
                       “Oh, great. Some asshole has my pen.” 

    thinking of you and wishing you well.

    • CarolA

      OMG   Loved your joke!   Goob,  that one has gotta make you laugh!  Thanks Minkinace!

    • CarolA

      OMG   Loved your joke!   Goob,  that one has gotta make you laugh!  Thanks Minkinace!

  22. I’ve enjoyed your HIF website for quite awhile and was actually shocked by your diagnosis.  I am glad to hear it’s treatable, but I understand what chemo does to you.  It was my job to make chemo for patients in my job as an IV Pharmacy Technician, wicked stuff! I wish you all the best, a speedy recovery, and I wish I knew some jokes I could tell on here to make you laugh, but I’m afraid of offending the others.  I am an Army wife, and you won’t believe the things I hear! LOL 

  23. Badaztek

    Well since it is baseball season and you give permission: That is as much of a foul ball if I ever heard of one, get better soon Goob the fact you are laughing at this shows you are of great character or is a character I sometimes get those confused

  24. Minkinace

    Goob, I absolutely love your site. I have been addicted since the first day I stumbled across it while searching the web for freebies. I have scored so much free stuff, I can’t even begin to list all the cool things I have gotten. When people ask how I score so much free stuff, I don’t wanna share the site with them.  I simply reply, “there’s this cool guy who gives out link and codes to get tons of free stuff and then I sign them up via your site, that way they still get the freebies but they don’t put me at risk of missing out. ( ha.)
    When I saw that you started posting on facebook, at first, I was frustrated because I work graveyard and by the time I logged on, sometimes the samples were “hiffed” but I am happy for you that you have gotten so much attention and have learned to live with it.
    I look forward to your site everyday. I am in love with all the free stuff. (and my friends are just as happy to receive samples, cuz let’s face it, who doesn’t like getting mail?)
    You rock, your site rocks and you have the best sense of humor ever. I am always checking to see what I can get and what goofy snippets you have posted alongside them.
    I haven’t had to buy shampoo  or tampons in quite sometime.  haha.

    here’s a joke. it’s not mine, tho.

    A doctor walks into the bank to endorse a check. He reaches into his shirt pocket for his pen and instead he finds a rectal thermometer. He responds, “Oh great. Some asshole has my pen.”

    sending out good vibes and hoping for the best. You are an awesome person. thanks for all the free stuff.

  25. Lisa

    I love Heyitsfree.net and I love you too!  Your sense of humor is off the chart!  Thank you for being you and thank you for all the freebies I have received over the years.  Your website is the only reason why I look forward to opening up the mailbox every day!  Keep up the good work Goob and keep on hanging in there!!! 🙂  Lisa

  26. Agentpd0072005

    Don’t know u but I find ur site fantastic. I hope u will recover soon my brother had the same thing but found out too late. Please take care of urself u r a. wonderful person and know u will b in my prayers. Its rough but know everyone cares about u.

  27. Sarah

    <3  joo Goob! – An American living in Europe (I have all my freebies sent to my parents place and when my mom comes to visit she brings them – TEHEHEH. Promise not to tell?)

  28. Ellenw1952

    I just found out I have cancer about a month ago. Your post made me laugh!! Thanks so much!! Sending lots of good vibes & laughs.

  29. Malkofsky


    Thank you for sharing what’s going on with you.  This seems like the right thing to do because
    you’ve shared yourself with us all this time so I feel like I know you.  I am a stage 2 breast cancer survivor.  I had a mastectomy and 6 months of chemo in
    Boston.  This was 15 years ago.  I have one bit of advice as you work your way
    through the chemo experience.   Your cute
    nurses probably already told you this but if you experience discomfort of any
    kind, be sure to report it because, most likely, whatever you are suffering
    with (nausea,  fatigue, constipation,
    whatever), they probably have several fixes to offer you.  If one doesn’t work, let them know and you
    can try another.  This is not
    complaining; this is reporting.  I’m so
    glad your Hiffer work is a source of passion for you.  This will help in your healing.  When I was sick, I was not doing what I
    love.  Cancer taught me in a tough love
    kind of way, that life is too short to not do what you love.  Now I am a teacher and I am passionate about
    that and (so far) cancer free.  Here is a
    joke my students like very much: 

      How do you make a
    hot dog stand?       Take away his chair!

    Best of luck; thinking healing thoughts for you.

    Linda Sharon

    • kk

      Hi Linda, Thank you for sharing your inspirational story with us. Best wishes to you!

  30. Maria

    GOOB!  My prayers and happy thoughts are coming your way.    Cancer is wicked but with your humor and good natured personality, you are going to kick it’s ass!  My best to you!  It could be worse, you could be playing for by beloved Cubbies right now!  Ha!  Quick joke:  I saw a blond in the cereal aisle the other day jumping for joy in front of the Cheerios.  I asked her why she was so happy and she said, “Donut seeds! I can’t wait to go home and plant them!”  Enjoy!

  31. Kristin

    I look forward to receiving your HIF posts everyday, they always make me smile,  if not laugh out loud.  I’m sorry to hear you’ve been battling this demon alone for all these months when you have so many fans that are ready to send positive, healing energy your way.  We care about you.

  32. Sending lots of positive thoughts for successful  treatment and a speedy recovery!

  33. Dancer4one

    I just wanted to say Thank you Goob for all that you do finding those awesome freebies! I pray that you will get well soon!!

  34. Rosends

    I just wanted to drop a note — I’m a daily hiffer and am in your debt many times over (that Copenhagen flask is awesome), so I wanted to send my well wishes to your south of the border sadness.

    One question — at what point does it become acceptable to make jokes about your condition. I’m brimming with black humor about what’s going on but am holding myself back because, let’s face it, cancer isn’t supposed to be funny. Please let me know so that if a nadsty comment slips out, I won’t be shot for it.

  35. Maliaham

    so glad you shared; I was wondering what was going on. My prayers are with you!

  36. Terry Vanderpool58

    I’ve had Cancer since 1989 and it is in remission right now, I am happy for you, and God bless you. tv

  37. Tabatha

    Good luck with your junk! I’m a huge fan of your page and keeping my fingers crossed for you.

  38. Diana

    Goob, I too went through the Chemo stuff after getting my ”Big C” operation and the internet saved my sanity. As I am very sensitive about hearing nurses and other patient’s medical dialog, I found the most helpful item to bring was a CD player with headphones and plenty of positive sounds.Each day I look forward to your freebies but the best freebie of them all is your witty, wonderful way with words! ( Lots of W’s !) Take it one day at a time which I know is easier said than done. It has been 3+ years for me and 3 days ago I turned 50! Remember, we have some great ”freebies” in the U.S. like freedom of the press, and worship. I’ll talk to my friend J.C. as He always is FREE and I’ll keep checking out your freebies!

  39. Aracataka

    Like so many before me have said: I do not know you personally but I do know you through HIF! Have had some great chuckles and lotsa good freebies thanks to you! So here is wishing you a speedy recovery because you my “friend” will win this over! And because we all need to keep chuckling at your witty remarks and taking advantage of all those freebies!

  40. Jungl70

    I truly love your site–you make me laugh every day! Saddened to hear your news and am thinking of you in my prayers. For my birthday my husband personalized my license plate “QPON NUT” My family and co-workers say I can get almost anything for free and I credit your site all the time. Our favorite post from you was for Friendly’s ice cream a few years back for 99 cent icecream cones. We live in IL and were on vacation in FLA. We ate icecream every day while we were there. My 8 year old son still praises Friendly’s as his most favorite. Thanks for not only the food tips but also a great vacation memory!   Best wishes for a speedy recovery!  Love ya, Karla

  41. Ryan, I’m so sorry to hear the news.  I love  the little asides about your life you put in (especially the ones about your ex-girlfriends, ha ha) , and I’m glad you shared this one with us.

    Please keep us updated, and I’ll be saying jokes for your Spidey-sense to pick up!

    Not an ex-girlfriend   ;>

  42. Jessica

    Goob – I know that was hard to post…. My brother went through this a few years ago and it’s hard to balance the privacy and how much to share of your care/condition, I know it was hard to even justify asking for an update and he was my brother.   Good news is he is 2 years clean bill of health and father of a beautiful baby boy (after treatment).  I will pray that you will also get the clean bill of health and that when you are ready, that you’ll have a Goob Jr to look forward to you in your future.  Thank you for your post, and we will understand if freebies dwindle… I know it is very tiring.   My prayers are with you

  43.  good luck goob!!!!! sending positive thoughts your way!!!!! <333

  44. Meg

    Thank YOU for keeping us entertained with your witty writing style – AND a few bucks “richer”…you’re a true champ, and you’re in my thoughts, Goob!

  45. Jasmine114892

    I’ve been a follower of HIF for a long time now, drawn in by the amusing anectodotes from the very first freebie I requested off your page.   I wish you well in this journey, Goob and am keeping you in my prayers.  I don’t know you personally, but you have an amazing strength that shines through every word you type.  Your sense of humor has shined through despite all you’re going through, and that is a true testament!  You do what you need to do, the Hiffers will be here for you! God Bless Goob!

  46. Msmajikk

    So Goob…where do generals hide their armies? In their sleevies. Of course.

  47. Good luck, Goob. I enjoy your humor, it reminds me of my own.

  48. Andrea

    Thanks for sharing with us, your readers.  Even though I don’t often find a freebie I need, I always read your posts because they make me smile.  You must be a really great person!  My prayers go out to you as you go through the treatment to BEAT the cancer.  You can do it!  🙂

  49. I’ve been down that chemo road too so my thoughts and prayers are with you.  You will have many “bumpy” days, but in time you will look back and think “that wasn’t so bad afterall”!  I wish you luck – hang in there.

  50. I read your blog every day and I am so sorry that you are going through this, but I am sure that your humor and family and friends will get you through this.

  51. sf

    healing thoughts headed your way from williston vt.never ever give up

  52. Tallie323

    I’m a big HIF-fer, and a bigger fan. I am so sorry you’re afflicted with such a douchebag of a disease. I’m praying for you, Goob. 

  53. Keltysmom

    i love your site…my pup runs in to see what i am laughing so explosively at!  i look forward to it…every day, not just for the free stuff.  but, yup, i love the free stuff too…   wishing you the best. i never write to email sites, but you… you are the guy!  wish you good health thru this mess…
    excuse the lack of caps…only one arm working…
    thanks, you’re the guy!    

  54. Dunnliz

    Why do bunnies make no sounds during sex???  They have cotton balls!!!! haaa haaa sort of appropriate? or may be not……..lots & lots of Aloha  going your way….liz

  55. Dancinlynn

    Goob, I love love love your site & wish you the best !!!! I just got a thank you from my boyfriends daughter for ordering her the Working Mother magazine that was short lived the other day. I check your site no less than 6 times /day & sensed something was amiss.  Keep the faith & when you feel better, get back to work. But not before you feel better !!! So glad you have health insurance, what a blessing that is.  I just retired early because the company I work for offered subsidized insurance until I reach 65. I jumped on it big time !!! Don’t worry about us, we thank YOU. Hugs !!!!!!!

  56. Cheryl

    Loved, Loved, LOVED the line about your “bonus perk”!!  Praying for your full recovery!
    (I am often asked where I get such great coupons when going through the checkout line. I tell everyone who asks and even people who don’t!)

  57. Natalie DeJohn

    I gotta admit, I got a little teary-eyed when I went onto HIF and read your post about cancer today. Wow. Sending good thoughts your way. You sound like you are in good spirits and I imagine that helps greatly in the healing process. I totally don’t know you at all, but I love your site! I keep up with a handful of freebie blogs, and yours is the only one that makes me laugh out loud. 

    Normally I’m great with stupid jokes, but I got nothin’ today. I’ll return with some good ones. Promise.

  58. Bethany Catlin

    HIF is the first site I check every morning when I get to work! And the last one I check before I leave!  Yes, of course they pay me to surf the internet at work, heh heh.  I have a terrible joke I made up in between surfing the internet at work today. The lady who sits next to me said her ear was stopped up on one side and she was irritated, and I said, “Don’t you mean ear-itated?” And then she actually laughed. Keep looking up, Goob! You’ll be back and running before you know it! 😀

  59. terri

    no!  thank you!!!!!  love the site & you’re sense of humor!!!  i have enjoyed every minute of hif! i am very sorry to hear of your troubles but it is great to hear you doing pretty good.  i pray that you will beat the crap out of it!  take care!!  keep on hiffin’!!

  60. Marythelg

    Hang in there Goob! Cancer is a little bitch, but you did get a good one to get. I wish you the best.

  61. Askkim2

    Hang in there Goob! You are in the prayers of a lot of people. You make a lot of people’s days enjoyable with your freebie finds…especially my dog, when you find dog treat freebies!!:-)

  62. magoo

    Keep’em hangin’ Dude! Your Awesome!!!

  63. kk

    Hi Goob, Thank you so much for your entertaining blog. I wish you great success with your treatment. Please take care, and get well soon!!

  64. Barbie

    Here’s a truly heartwarming story to take your mind off your troubles. It is about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers which will make you believe that we all can make adifference when we give a child the gift of our time.A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.Eventually, the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough” more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little jobs to do here and there, to make her feelimportant.At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a “pay” envelope containing ten dollars.  The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.  The little girl proudly replied, “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.””Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”The little girl replied, “I will, if those assholes at Lowe’s ever deliver the fucking sheet rock…”  

  65. Linda Hendrix50

    Goob:  My deepest wish for a speedy (and easy!) recovery! Many in my family have had many kinds of cancer and beat it! Chemo kicked thier but many times too, but from thier mouth to my ears – the best way to beat it is to think positive and have a positive attitude.   If anyone has that, I believe you do! Will continue to spread the news about your site, would hate for you to loose out on any of the .00000001 that you can get!!   🙂

  66. Goob, I don’t know you but I feel like I know you.  Please know I will put you in my prayers.  Get healthy!

  67. Alisabbw

    Goob!!!!!!  God loves you and so do we!  I stumbled onto your site last year and have spread the word as much as possible.  Just know that if ya wanna tell us about your junk…well we’re here to listen…and laugh, if need be.

    Love ya bunches!!!

  68. Lilbitofawitchy1

    I just wanna say thank you for devoting the time that you dont have to, to bring us the enjoyment of these freebies. Also you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as you continue this fight with chemo and cancer. Take care of you.

  69. Sandy

    keep a positive attitude, and you will be on my daily prayer list. Thanks for this website, I look forward to it every day. I have told lots of friends about the freebies and your corn-ball but delightful “jokes”. Thanks again.

  70. Heather

    its so good that your keeping a postive attitude and arent letting it take over your life. i’ll pray for you:)

  71. Junebuglv

    Feel better!  I am going through ovarian cancer and the chemo is a bitch.  You’l get through it. Thank goodness for nasuea meds. Take it easy and remember this is the time to pamper yourself. My prayers are with you.

  72. Marlab

    Saying lots of prayers for you, no jokes, just lots of prayers (although I admit I did LOL when I read the part about you taking your junk out in front of strangers).

    Thanks for all you do with this site and the daily email, it’s appreciated, even more now. God Bless you.

  73. Tax4lifejn

    Dearest Goob! Good Luck on your recovery, stay positive and thanks for sharing with us about your junk I guess that was todays freebie, no need to post pictures of what you got this month hehe! Your in my prayers

  74. Annamarieking44

    I’m praying for you!

  75. Freebie567

    Goob, I’m sending you everything I’ve got that’s good and funny and crazy, though I don’t think you’ll need it, You’ve got more than enough to keep you going. And I want to say Thank You because your witty, funny and sometimes strange remarks make me laugh and look forward to your posts even though i don’t subscribe to half the freebies you list, I mean, I don’t have any more space for more Depends!

  76. Esmeraldac1

    **Praying. Best wishes. <3 love

  77. MCJ

    I just wanna say “Thank You” for all that you do for all of us. I just discovered your freebie blog three months and immediately I bookmarked it. I can find what I need and not have to click on 10 things to get there. Plus the jokes are a added bonus. I’ll be praying that things get better for you Mr. Goob.

  78. thxs 4 sharing .. my hubby has brain cancer so ur not alone

  79. Michelle

    Thank God you got the health insurance.  Just think, you used your talents to save your own life!  How awesome is that!

    HIFer 4 Life !
     Kick cancer in the balls, dude! Luv ya.

  80. Ferretlover

    You have been a source of humor and fun for me every single day – I only hope that you will continue to remain as upbeat during this trial you are going through.  Thank you for all that you have done and will do in the future!  Stay postive, Goob – this is a beatable cancer!!  

  81. Sending lots of healing thoughts your way Goob! (by the way,  we nicknamed our brother Goob when he was little and it stuck.)  Keep on keepin on! With love from Swannanoa, NC!!

  82. Lissydep1

    Hi Goob.  Just recovered from breast cancer myself.  Finished radiation about 2 months ago.  Your treatments will be over soon, although it is such a pain in the butt to go through them.  I’m glad that you have one of those “good” cancers.  Be well.

  83. Mimijackson

    make jokes about you or about how funny u are im knda confused oh well i know loads of people with cancer and who had cancer so for u to be so u still i say that your very strong. maybe youll get extra freebies you clould always try! XD

  84. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

    Because they don’t have balls to scratch….

    I hope you don’t have to rub your eyes in the morning, Goob. It’s no fun, and makes it harder to focus, which is hard enough to do in the morning.

    Thank you for your wonderfully fun and entertaining site that just so happens to have freebies  attatched. I will be at the DMV today, thinking of you, and telling stupid jokes.

  85. Destiny Shackleford

    Goob, I’ll get on HIF and refresh the page as many times as I can if it gets you one cent closer to getting better. Your witty and conversely, lame jokes are a little highlight of my day. Hope you feel better soon, and when things get bad, just be glad you’re male and don’t have a period. 🙂 

  86. Mom 0f 2

    Sending good thoughts from central MN 🙂

  87. Guy

    Just don’t go all Walter White on us and start dealing meth!

  88. Thecutecannon

    May God bless you and keep you strong during your time of turmoil and medical travails

  89. Jallen195

    I send you hugs and prayers and strength. It seems as if now, everyone’s life is somehow  touched by cancer. I share this with you to give you (even more)hope. My good friend had stage 4 breast cancer. She beat it. It spread to her brain, they said it is terminal. She refused that, did the treatments…it was a super rough time, but, she is now…. CANCER FREE!! And I think you will be, too. A lot of it is state of mind, your attitude seems great, keep it up!!

  90. theresa b

    Goob, this the first site I hit in the morning with my coffee!  You are my newspaper funnies!  🙂  Prayers are with you.  Kick cancer’s ass, cuz it took your balls.  😉  Lots of love.

  91. Heather

    Gosh you’re such a hoot and holler…even when you’re sick!  

  92. retroducky

    Goob,  many positive vibes sent your way.  Best wishes to you in your recovery.  I’m sure your junk hasn’t had this much attention in years!  Just kidding…hope I made you smile 🙂

  93. Shewbedo

    My husband is a Testicular cancer survivor with 2 surgeries and lots of chemo. I just love it when people ask me “What did he have?” and I get to answer “Testical cancer!” They are so like “Oh”. No more questions from them! Talking about his junk is now 2nd nature for us. Clean for 10 years now!! Keep up the good fight!

  94. Mcypert

    you are in my prayers

  95. Debbie

    Love ya, Goob!!!  Hang in there!

  96. caitiemoo

    oh, you lovely man.  i will think many disturbing thoughts in your honor.  much love

  97. Swtchik721

    My husband had testicular cancer ten years ago. While he now goes by “onenut”, he has been cancer free ever since he became onenut and had his lymphnodes removed. Keep up your positive attitude and you will get through this!

  98. Tparker103

    Well, that just totally sucks.  Having CA, that is.  My wife was diagnosed back in 1991, a second tumor was excised in 93, and the radiation just really messed her up.  In fact, she suffers more from the after effects of radiation than any cancer problems (and there’s been no re-occurence since her opeeration in 1993, even though she was diagnosed as stage IIIA.
    Best to you.

  99. tazie

    Why did the blonde walk to the post office 40 times in one day?  Because her computer kept telling her, “you’ve got mail!”

  100. Carolynn

    Cancer sucks. Kick it’s ass, kay?

    Here’s a lame joke:

    Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

    ‘Fo drizzle.

  101. Beth Mccarthy

    Saying a prayer for you……and, “Hey, it’s Free!” 
    Thanks for the daily freebies!  Life’s a team sport, and we appreciate all you do for our team!
    Now, tell cancer you’re on your way to a win!

  102. Kate

    I’m glad you told us so we can keep prayers and good energy flowing your way.  I’m not glad you joined those of us who have/had cancer.  Just try not to wrench your neck by craning to see all the pretty nurses!

  103. Gl1200jh

    my prayers are with you.

  104. linda

    OH MY,    you ARE goofy !     but sending       ***mom hugs***   N E ways!!  🙂

  105. Sherrybuckmaster

    Hi Goob,
    I check the HIF website everyday, sometimes more than once a day. I love it so THANK YOU! I also love to read your jokes on here. I’m sorry to hear about the cancer but I’m glad that you told everyone. Now we all can pray for you! Glad that it’s been caught early but I know that chemo SUCKS and cancer of ANY kind REALLY SUCKS. Hope you feel better soon.

  106. don;t know if you have been hit with these yet, but here goes, Have you tried out to play first base for the Phillies yet?    Or are you in training for next years Tour de France?.  Just remember, both those guys beat ball cancer and both went on to great things.

    Laughter is the best medicine, and prayer never hurts.

  107. Meemah1

    Hey Goob, With everyones positive energy coming at you, you are going to be great in no time..You have given us so much on a daily basis, I wish we could return the favor……but know that my prayers for a quick recovery are on my lips as we speak………….later dude

  108. Suzanne

    Praying for you Goob.  It’s wonderful checking HIF each day and laughing at your witty banter.  Hang in there.

  109. Lucky Charm

    So here’s one of my favorite jokes. 

    Why do seagulls live by the sea?   Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels. 

    Best wishes for your recovery.

  110. melody

    I have MS so can really relate to being exhausted all the time but am so sorry to hear about your cancer- with your great attitude I think that you will beat it, for sure! You are a great part of many folks day so a big thank you to you!

  111. i just want you to know that  you WILL get through this. no matter what, never give up! sending good vibes your way. good luck and know you will always have a friend in me 🙂 <3

    okay here is a SUPER cheesy lame joke:

    "what did the mother buffalo say to her child when he left?

    -bison 😀

  112. Anne

    Wow, you are about the 5 person I have come across lately with some type of cancer or serious illness. 

    Sending you positive healing thoughts.

  113. Jessica

    Your quirky sense of humor never fails to bring a smile to my face.  I hope all goes well!

  114. Ashley T.

    Hey dude, this is one of your HIF visitors, cant say how long i been visiting it but yea lol , umm yea cancer is cruel  , anyways i pray & hope you get well soon.. for yourself and for all the people that know ya and for those that go to your websites.   May God Bless You

  115. Emifin

    I really enjoy your posts and read them even if I’m not interested in that particular freebie. I hope all goes well with you and I’m sending good thoughts your way.

  116. Ashley

    I sincerely hope you become better Goob. From your willingness to help people through this website, it is true that you have a good heart. Keep the faith.

  117. Lisa

    I love your humor as you can tell you are a great guy, fun loving and sarcastic charm and you do a great job with the deals. I’ll tell you what I told my Godmother – F Cancer – it will not win this one!!  Thank you for sharing.   You will be in our prayers for a speedy recovery. 

  118. Lecouture

    Thank you for what you have done for me. Daily laughs and free gifts in mail. My husband thinks I am nuts but… In return you will have daily prayers your way, also highly recommend you do what doctors/nurses/techs tell you to do and get additional meds if you get very tired. Best wishes, Leigh

  119. sandra E

    Hang in there

  120. sandra E

    My neighbor had this and is fine now.

    During his chemo, I kept sending him links to neuticles, so he wouldn’t feel weird when he licked himself. He laughed.

  121. Supermaninitials

    Stay strong! I look forward to your blog posts everyday, often it is the only bright spot of my work day!  I will think of you, picture your good health and wish for a speedy recovery every time I get the mail!  Can’t wait to hear you kicked cancers @ss!  Keep thinking how good you will feel soon.

  122. Joetke

    Get well soon!

  123. Mochaspice1

    Hey there Goob, so sorry you had to join the ‘club’. There are many of us here so never feel alone. I was DX in 2008 with breast cancer.  I am a three year survivor. 
    Take care/pamper  yourself. Get much needed rest. we all luv ya.  Positive thoughts and prayer are headed your way.


  124. Sonyaseal

    Hello fella…. glad you alerted your peeps! I wish your cancer to shrink but your confidence to grow… 🙂 Get well!

  125. Erin_lr

    your in my prays ! bestow luck with you !

  126. Thinking of you. What a great attitude you have…

  127. Bellawheezer

    Just saw this – you are awesome and keep me smiling on HIF … I dealt with chemo, radiation, brain surgery and stupid cancer crap 2 years ago … keep making jokes, stay positive, and sleep! … Sleep was definitely the best thing I did for 6 weeks with chemo and radiation.  Take care of yourself and stay positive – it will get you way farther than anything else.  P.S. … a friend of mine dealt with testicular cancer 3 years ago, and he’s just fine now.  It’s nice hearing stories of people making it out alive, well at least I like to hear them 🙂  Best of luck to you, and take your anti-nausea meds regularly.  Its not a good med to skip lol

  128. Mae D.

    Goob, I enjoy your freebie blog… ALOT!!! 🙂 I’m sorry you’ve got the cancer… I hope you fight through it and kick it’s ass… Good luck and get well!!! 

  129. Afshan

    I don’t know you, but I love the work that you do on HIF! Prayers are with you and you will get through this, God Willing! 🙂

  130. ok…i’ve been sent ur way…probably 2 pray….of which i will do, just 4 u…..tell me since i am not cyberspace literate…how do you make money with a web site?  I 2 have been out of work with illness, not Nearly as butt-kickin as yours, and wondered about working on the puter…
    I am blessed 2 have found ur web site….i will loook at it more and often….God Bless, and Yes! i will pray since its all i can do 2 day…… 

  131. Jaci Lapointe

    UGH that bites bud!  When my mom went thru breast cancer our joking was what got her thru day to day, so dont lose your sense of humor. When Mom had a mastectomy she decided to call her self the Uno-Boober! So find the funny and go with it!

  132. Cheryldee263

    I am so sorry to hear about your illness, I can’t tell you how much I love your site and how much my friends love your site, but you have to come first so take care of you and you will be in my prayers. Cheryl

  133. Crystalplanetkc

    Goob, I’m one of the lucky ones who still has a job, albeit a barely-surviving one. I often send off for freebies to try things I wouldn’t otherwise buy. Yours was the very first freebie site I found to help me find freebies . . .  and it’s still the best. Checking out your site every couple days is always fun and always brings a smile. I’m sure you really don’t know how many people there are to whom you give a much-needed smile with your work. I’m glad we’ve all been able to help you in return. Please know we’ll ALL pulling for you. 🙂

  134. Pbk3458

    Goob,  With your sense of humor, you’ll have no problem beating this!!

  135. Staciecro

    I’m sorry to hear about the cancer…I love your emails, website and sense of humor! Thanks

  136. Chelsea

    No, thank YOU.  You save us so much time in searching for Freebies, and I love getting them in the mail!  I also enjoy reading your emails, even if it’s a freebie I don’t want… I still read what you type just for your humor. You remind me of my brothers… and you will make it through this.

  137. Mike

    Look on the bright side: Now, if somebody does something you don’t like, you can threaten to take your ball and go home.

  138. Wallpaperjane

    thanks for all the freebies.  Praying  you beat the cancer so you can continue to help the world get free stuff and keep us laughing with your crazy sense of humor.  Seriously, all the best wishes for you man.

  139. Becca

    You absolutely crack me up, and I know you’ll kick this thing– sending good, happy thoughts your way!

  140. Jerseytomato70

    Hey, Goob….Hang in there.  I had stage 2 Breast cancer 2 years ago.  Best thing you can do is what you are already doing….Talking about it.  I totally don’t get the people who keep it under wraps.  You don’t get the kind of support you need if you don’t share it.  Oh, yeh, and when ever you can use the “Cancer card”, do it.  You earned it.  ….I don’t mean doing anything obnoxious,  If it can make you happier, do it.  Get better!

  141. Veena(:

    Thoughts and prayers coming your way from CA (: hope your balls feel better soon :p

  142. Jane

    I’m so very sorry to hear your news. Your hey it’s free site has brought us so many great freebies, but most of all, it has brought a smile to our faces on a daily basis. And that’s why I know you will be okay. It’s that sense of humor that will keep you going, along with all our prayers and well wishes for your quick recovery.

  143. Bnwsmile

    Well be sure to let us know if you don’t make it… don’t leave us…. ‘hanging’. =P Thought you might like that one. I hope you’re healed quickly and with the least pain possible.

    Hiffer from Cartersville GA.

  144. Bernadette

    Thanks for sharing Goob. I love your sense of humor and I am glad you haven’t let this little “hiccup” in life change that.  I am praying for ya!

  145. Margie

    Get better and keep us posted on how you are doing!! 

  146. Lynn

    I have never met you, but feel I know you a little from your hilarious posts on the HIF site.  When checking the site in the company of others I often read your posts aloud so that others can enjoy your self-deprecating humor.  Sometimes I even quote posts when I am not in front of the computer!  (People already think I am a nerd for getting so excited about the free stuff, but I am now a super-nerd because I also get jacked about your posts about free stuff…)  I was just catching up on some freebies today when I read your post on July 28 stating that you have cancer.   I just wanted to wish you the best and send you good vibes.  I am certain that not only are the cute nurses a bright spot for you, but that you brighten their day with your wit.  Stay strong.

  147. Ijazz1

    Chin up old boy, chin up!  Have a family member going through chemo as well.  Prayers your way!

  148. Debbie Garoutte

    Goob, I know that took a lot of courage to tell the world about your cancer.  I’ve been praying for you ever since I read this last week.  You have so many supporters and friends praying for you that I know God will answer all our prayers. 
    You make us laugh, fill our mailboxes with cool free stuff and I appreciate you and what you do for us.
    Take care of yourself, don’t worry about sending us stuff right now.  Concentrate on getting well.

  149. Msmajikk

    Hey Goob…just checking in with well wishes…hope your holding your own…heh heh heh :p  Anyway, another dumb joke:

    What’s this?  *clop clop clop* *bang bang* *clop clop clop*

    Amish drive-by shooting. 😀

  150. kuaseee511

    Dear Goob, Theres 3 things I have to say: stay strong, get a cute nurse as a girlfriend and thanks for all the great deals you’ve got all of us. I want to be a pediatric oncologist when I get older, so keep us posted please!

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